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Toronto Dance Article:
Dudes Don't Dance

Author: Fahad Pinto

Copyright © 2005 Fahad Pinto and Toronto Dance Inc. All rights reserved.
This article may not be copied/republished without expressed permission from Toronto Dance Inc.

Background: Fahad wrote this article after watching a Latin-Ballroom and Salsa-Nightclub class taught at Toronto Dance Inc. late July 2005.

“5-6-7-8.” Michael Martin struts around the room with his wife Nicole in his arms. Two slow steps forward, a quick move to the side and a pause. The bodies sway to the march of the Tango. Michael is focused. His wife looks pleased. His third step narrowly misses her left foot. The four sides are lined with mirrors in this well-lit room, reflecting the other couples also moving around. Bum-bum-bum-bumpa-bum-bum-bum beats the rhythm of the Tango. The instructor chants, “Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow.” Thump, thump, thud, thud, thump, the feet sing out in chorus. Michael moves his lady gracefully across the floor. He tilts her back ever so slightly then elegantly pulls her upright before setting off towards the centre of the room. Again he leans Nicole back. This time he attempts to dip her, if she had a rose in her mouth he’d most likely take it from her, sensually, with his teeth. This is the dance of love. He is the Casanova on the Tango floor, learning the techniques, mastering the moves. Then they stop abruptly. Something went wrong with their footwork. Michael misjudged a step. They fall out of rhythm. Discouraged they resume the first step – slow, slow, quick, quick, slow.

Michael, 48, had reservations when signing up for classes at Toronto Dance Inc. “I’m self-conscious; I don’t like doing things in crowds. And [Nicole] really enjoys dancing. And she thought it would be nice to go out and dance sometimes. Twice a year at weddings I’d actually do a dance. She has to drag me on the dance floor.”

Why is it that North American men generally shy away to the bar when the lights are dimmed and the record plays? Why is dancing repulsive to males when a couple of generations ago part of a man’s educational upbringing included ballroom dance skills. And who came up with the terrible notion that ‘only girly men and gay boys shimmy’? I speculate it was someone who was terrible at two-stepping and needed to justify his shortfall.

Chuan Chee runs the classes at Toronto Dance Inc. Men stay away from the dance floor but not only to avoid harassment from their peers. “Men have more things to learn than women. They have to learn to lead, they have to learn their own steps, and they have to learn to listen to music and how to move around well. They are afraid to look silly. Men are afraid to look awkward because when they want to do something they want to be good at it, not struggle with it. And then dancing, unfortunately, a lot of men struggle with it.”

When they get over their initial intimidation, there’s plenty to take away from the lessons. Apart from the stress relief, participants build self-esteem, they have better posture, a more active social life and the confidence to make more friends. “We have cases where [women] drag the guys to the dance class and, in some cases, the guys like the class better than the ladies because they get to lead, they’re in control.”

Several students have met their significant others in these classes.

Back in the studio Chuan instructs the beginners’ class on the Rumba. “Music is like poetry. And poetry has lines and verses. Now music have a subject and an object. The subject is the beginning part of the eight beats; the object is the ending part of the eight beats. So you’ll usually hear music going rum pum pUM PUM RUM PUm pum pum. So the ascending part is the subject, which is 1 to 4. And the descending part is the object, which is 5 to 8. So you’re learning English in dance class too,” he says to laughter from the students.

“Well I don’t look like a total klutz anymore, says Michael. “I’m more likely to actually dance now at weddings and parties like that.” After 25 years of marriage he decided to give dancing a chance and bought sessions at the studio as a birthday present for his wife. “My daughter says it’s because I ran out of ideas for a birthday present.”

Peter Corlett sits in a corner of the class eyeing the footwork and watching the other couples strut on the floor. Today he has a cold but he still studies and takes mental notes as the instructor teaches the class new steps. He’s taking the lessons without his wife with the hopes of surprising her and then teaching her on his own. Although he is aware that dancing is more accepted for females than males, the sessions have been beneficial. “I usually feel great after a dance class. I feel invigorated and it’s a good workout.”

Blake Perry, a student at Ryerson University who attends Salsa lessons on a weekly basis, is also conscious of this stigma against male dancers. “I think it’s the whole gender role thing where guys are supposed to be tough and unemotional and strong and dancing is not like weightlifting. It’s a lot more graceful.

“What it means to be a man has become more rigid, more strict. And dancing has fallen out of that. You go to a normal club and see people grinding and that’s ok. But to do anything that takes skill, that’s not seen as masculine.”

He doesn’t know exactly when or why dancing changed from a skill into a ‘girly man’s fancy’. “If they call me gay, well I’m not dancing with men I’m dancing with girls,” he says with a chuckle.

However things look to be changing when it comes to men on the dance circuit. With the advent of recent dance-related movies including Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights and Shall We Dance?, There has been an increase in interest for lessons, especially in a new age category. “We notice that more and more young people are getting involved in social dancing. And I think that’s a very good thing. Because when we first started there weren’t so many young people involved. They think that ballroom dancing or dancing is for older couples, like their mother’s or grandparent’s generation. But now young people are beginning to enjoy the benefits as well.”